Sexual Slavery, the Final Frontier

IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY SHIT.

CALLING ALL ANASTASIA STEELE WANNABES. 

I'LL TELL YA WHAT YA WANT WHAT YA REALLY REALLY WANT

A craigslist ad for a true BDSM Slave. This is the new frontier, folks!

BDSM female slave needed

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tlg/3206193917.html

One attractive, submissive female needed. You should be in shape, sexually adventurous, submissive and good at taking directions. Total discretion assured and you will be compensated generously. Send pics and contact info to be considered. You will be generously compensated, based on your level of experience so please include any previous experience that you may have had. Can start immediately.

Who's in?

MUSIC!!!!!!!

E.L. James has decided to release a companion album to Fifty Shades, which will be a compilation of the classical music mentioned in the series. I read that article and I exploded:

WHAT THE FUCK NO AMY STUDT I AM FURIOUS I WILL THROW A FIT THIS IS AN OUTRAGE I WANT TO THROW A CHAIR ALL I WANTED WAS A FIFTY SHADES ALBUM COMPLETE WITH AMY BEYONCE BRITTANY AHHHHHH THE WHOLE GANG I CANNOT ABIDE BY THIS I AM CHRISTIAN GREY HULK MAD FUCK YOU E.L. JAMES YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOUR READERS WANT

I was feeling like doing the all caps, no punctuation thing. 
This must be how Craigslist posters feel every day.

E.L. James, where do you get this stuff?

We're going to quickly discuss the prologue to Fifty Shades Darker.


OHHHH poor fucked-up, kinky, philanthropic, Christian. What a sad little child you were. 


Again, Christian's horrific past filled with cigarette wielding pimps and crack whores is a way for E.L. James to add depth.  




This ain't your granma's soft porn.




Many writers use the device of switching points of view within the narrative to create a far more complex and informative story. Many writers use this style quite effectively.


Guess who doesn't?


Writing from Christian's point of view, E.L. James provides us with an intimate look at baby Grey's extremely grim childhood. The prologue is basically Christian describing the pimp entering his house, beating his mom and then presumably burning Christian with his cigarettes. 


Again, I understand (and by understand, I mean I don't) that E.L. James wants to deepen this story, but this is TWILIGHT FAN FICTION. WHY WASTE YOUR TIME??? You think writing part of a graphic BDSM soft porn novel from a CHILD'S point of view is OKAY in any part of this GALAXY???? No matter how hard you try, this is not going to be the next Great Gatsby. You're making money because it's controversial and LET'S CALL A SPADE A SPADE, 

IT

IS

PORN.

DAMMIT.

I'm done.