THE FIVE PHRASES REPEATED FAR TOO OFTEN IN THE FIFTY SHADES TRILOGY
1) NOT all white wine is "cool, crisp and delicious", Ana.
2) Ever notice that people only smile or frown in these books?
3) Ana, my god, stop referring to your vagina as your "sex". It's weird. No one does that.
4) CHRISTIAN DAMMIT– YOU CAN'T SAY "FAIR POINT WELL MADE". It is either "fair point" or "point well made".
5) Kill the inner goddess. Someone do it.
I knew I forgot some when I wrote that, so I'm going to add a few things.
6) Is rolling your eyes the only way you two can express your disdain at the other? Which by the way, you do too much.
7) "Stow your twitchy palm". That sounds like a retort from the Dowager Countess.
8) Do you realize how disgusting "and I explode around him" sounds, E.L. James?
Say it out loud to yourself for kicks.
9) "Laters, baby." Glad you think you're cute and charming, kids.
10) All the Mrs. Robinson shit. It just goes on and on and on.....and on.
11) Christian's hulk side and Ana's constant desire to awaken the sleeping giant, yet simultaneously wondering if he's going to punish her, and Christian worrying whether she'll leave or not.
and lastly:
12) Ana is always wet. Always. Christian's always hard. Always. All from a burning gaze and a bitten lip.
yeah. okay.
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