Christian Trevelyan-Grey and Anastasia Rose Steele

yep. those are their names.


For you people who have not read it, Christian is not a real person.
I would imagine some women shudder at that thought.


HERE'S WHY LADIES:


a) He is INSANELY RICH. he makes $100,000 a day or something like that.
b) He is apparently so good looking any woman (with the exception of lesbians and friends of the main character) will fall under his spell. Copper hair. Grey eyes. Perfect physique.
c) When he's sticking to "vanilla" sex, he's just God's gift to women in the bedroom. His true sexual preferences involve caning, flogging, butt plugs and genital clamps.
d) He has an intensely dark past, full of crack whores, foster homes, pimps and punching other kids in the face.
e) He has a loving family, with a hot, cultured brother and a hot, cultured sister and hot, cultured parents.


Now, none of these aspects by themselves would be abnormal.


But honey, please. You can't have all of the above.


As for his lovely lady, Anastasia:


She is a grade-A idiot.


WHY??? I'll try to spread these out over time, because to list all the ways in which she is a dumbass would keep us here all day.


a) She seriously considers SIGNING a BDSM contract (and pretty much does).
    She is 21 at the time. She is also a virgin.
b) Despite the fact that every guy who sees her falls head over heels for her and the demigod known as Christian Grey can't have enough of her, she doesn't think she's attractive or appealing in any way.
c) BITCH NEVER SHOWS UP FOR WORK


Oh yes. and this entire series was originally twilight fan fiction.


.....