(Spoilers ahead from all 3 books)
You might say, what do you mean?
I ask you:
1. How did he get to the bar that fast? Does he never get pulled over? Obviously he'd get
out of the ticket, because he gets his way in all matters of life, but it'd eat up some
time.
2. He just zooms into Ana's apartment when she's been crying because he Spidey Senses
something's wrong.
3. He just "appears" in Georgia? I'm sorry, EXCUSE ME??? And saying creepy things like
"How many Cosmopolitans are you going to drink?". Also, Ana, HE FLEW ACROSS THE
COUNTRY FOR A NIGHT WITH YOU. Really? REALLY? REALLY?????!!!!!????? That doesn't
freak you out a bit? Ohhhhhh it does. But his "panty combusting" gaze talks you out of
it. (For the love of god, E.L. James., what the hell prompted you to pen that phrase?)
4. He magically teleports from New York to Seattle when feisty Miss Ana goes out for a
drink with Kate after he so clearly said NO. The stakes were so high!
OMGHECRZYWHAAA?!
5. He materializes out of thin air when that guy grinds on Ana for 5 seconds at the club.
At that point, it was no longer a surprise.
6. And for the finale:
Though he was nowhere near her, he somehow finds his way to Ana, who is passed out
after she "heroically" saves Mia, right after she's shot Jack in the knee. LIKE WHERE DID
HE COME FROM? I'm not asking how he found her. I don't give a shit that he could track
her phone. I'm asking how. the. FUCK. did he get to her exact location so damn fast?
I think E.L. James is confusing "rich man with lots of technology at his disposal" with Superman.
Because of all this creepery, I'll admit that he'll make an A+ ghost when someone eventually bests him and Ana. Since, you know, everyone in the world, including deranged editors, hunky hispanic photographers, hairy club guys, hot architects and past submissives who sound like the girl from The Ring are all out to get them and ruin their soft porn fun. Damn those fuckers.
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